so we have these cookie jars that sit on top of the cupboard right. we’ve had them for years. you can record yourself saying something so when you take the lid off you it will make a noise so you can hear if someone is stealing your cookies or something anyway anyway we have 3 of them. a pig, a cow, and an owl. now i was left alone one day. mum and dad at work, my brother at school and my sister at her boyfriends house. so i had a thought. what if i recorded myself screaming? so i did. in all 3 of them. all 3 different screams too. one was an excited shriek, one was a terrified scream, and one was a long shout. these cookie jars recorded up to 15 seconds, so i took FULL ADVANTAGE of that. now…here’s the thing…i did that almost 3 years ago. and these cookie jars have been sitting on top of the cupboard collecting dust.
until today.
mum’s painting the kitchen, so she had to take everything off the top of the cupboard. and uh…you know how battery powered things…start dying? they……slowly run out of juice? she asked me to check inside one of the jars. the pig, to be exact. and…the pig was the terrified scream. i unsuspectingly opened the jar and as the lid came off the jar, i remembered what i did. but i didn’t remember in time, because in that next second, a fucking demon cry sounded from this Almost Dead Battery Powered Pig Cookie Jar. it was a sound i never want to hear again. everyone ran into the kitchen to see what that god awful sound was and i just stood there, holding this satanic wailing pig. i shut my eyes, and waited the full 15 seconds, until it was silent, before turning to my mum and handed her the pig, and then leaving the kitchen.
i’ll admit i’ve done some dumb things in my life, but nothing could’ve prepared me for the sound i heard today.
Aries: is both the protagonist & antagonist of their own life Taurus: constantly torn between what they want and what they need Gemini: doesn’t know how to function without stimulation Cancer: they make “homes” out of people, and relies on others rather than themselves for a sense of security. Leo: sees everyone as a threat or competition Virgo has an all-consuming fear of insignificance and lacking in all forms (major preoccupation with proving their worth) Libra: frequently loses their sense of self (by tending to define themselves by their friends & the people they surround themselves with) Scorpio: extreme distrust in not only others but also in themselves, seeing their emotions & obsessions as treacherous Sagittarius: has bouts of overwhelming loneliness and emptiness (and will do anything to fill the void) Capricorn: can’t handle failure, it feels like the end of the world to them Aquarius: has an existential crisis every other week Pisces: constantly waiting for something to happen, having absurdly high hopes & therefore getting them crushed over and over again.
